So here I am again, turning this blog into a space where I whine about not being able to write. Did I ever stop to think that the only thing keeping me from writing is, well, me? (On a quick side note, why does the autocorrect on my phone always think I want to say "we'll" when I type "well?")
Still, in all honesty, there is nothing to stop me from going home and writing. It is done with ease. I just clean up and go home. Then I explain to my boss why my stories are far more important than my work. In reality, I hold these stories in a much higher regard than I do my job. Why then, do I not simply make my writing a priority?
For many reasons, I say. I must pay my bills. I must eat. I must style my hair like Jennifer Love-Hewitt. If I were to allow myself to engage in all of my desires free will, I would likely be dead by now, having starved on the street.
My faith works in the same way as my writing; while it is most important to me, I find that I am unwilling to put my faith before my worldly needs and desires. When you think about this, it seems kind of stupid. If Christ is my Lord and Saviour, and I put all trust in him then surely he will not let me starve on the street, right?
It doesn't work like that. I must put Christ before all things, this is correct. However, he is not going to give me everything on a silver platter. In truth, he is far more likely to take that silver platter away from me.
Why, then, do I strive to follow Him and not just cheer him on? Because I know that at the end of all things, he offers everlasting love and paradise. Not some vacation place with skis and bikinis, but a place where I am at peace and always at his side.
That really sounds like fun? Yah, sure, you betcha! A place where I no longer have to toil or ache? Uh, DUH!
Doesn't that make your stories and the like worthless? No. We are made on God's image. God is creator of all things. By telling my stories I am creating, this I am mirroring God.
Where is all of this leading? To the conclusion that God gave me a wonderful gift an I am wasting it. This is foolish and I must begin to prioritize to do the things God has asked me to do.
God asked you to write? He gave me this talent, didn't he? I only pray that my writing, whether successful or not, published or unpublished, gives glory to him.
End rant for today. Also...that's right!! I did all of that on my iPhone! Woot!
18 March, 2013
15 March, 2013
So here it is...
Who had direction in college?
I don't mean from your advisers and the like. I mean you had an idea of your future and you worked towards it, even if that plan changed a little or a lot, you weren't just listlessly floating in the collegiate abyss.
I have met a few of these floaters in my time. They dream of doing this or that, they seem to know exactly what they want in life...but they have no ambition or direction to go get it. Perhaps at some point even I was one of them. I can't say one way or the other, but I would like to think that I always had a smidgen of direction.
Perhaps it is just the changes in my life that is making me contemplate such things. I got married in December. Directly upon our return in January, we were hit with a very frightening financial crisis. I had been loosely looking for a steady job since before the wedding, but my search was now becoming more serious. I have a husband to help support. I want to diet and lose weight. I have interviews. I have to clean the house. I have to be supportive to my husband. I have to be a wife.
As you can imagine, the stress piled up on me to the point where it actually started manifesting physically. I was scared out of my wits because I had no understanding of what was going on. My symptoms were very similar to those of a heart attack. Not the horrible chest pain and numbness of the arm, but the chest tightness, heartburn...all of the like. So finally I went to the doctor.
I knew it wasn't a heart attack. I knew that it was anxiety and stress causing the pain. Still, better to be safe than sorry. Everything checked out perfect, as it usually does when I go to the doctor. So still no answer, but only a theory.
Today I had a follow up. This time the doctor focused more on my digestive tract. He believes I am somewhere between GERD and Gastritis. This isn't great, but it isn't that good either. The doctor thinks I likely had it developing and it was enhanced and heightened by the super stress.
It is nice to have something to say it is. At least I can reassure myself this way. To be safe, they drew blood and will run some tests, but he is confident it is as he said.
So what does that have to do with direction?
All my life I wanted to be an archaeologist. I've known that since I was a child. At the age of 6 I could say Australopithecus and explain to you how evolution went from Austrolopithecenes to Homo Habilis.
Suddenly I am taking a desk job. This is a large chapter in my life. Priorities have changed. I have changed. My direction has not.
I don't mean from your advisers and the like. I mean you had an idea of your future and you worked towards it, even if that plan changed a little or a lot, you weren't just listlessly floating in the collegiate abyss.
I have met a few of these floaters in my time. They dream of doing this or that, they seem to know exactly what they want in life...but they have no ambition or direction to go get it. Perhaps at some point even I was one of them. I can't say one way or the other, but I would like to think that I always had a smidgen of direction.
Perhaps it is just the changes in my life that is making me contemplate such things. I got married in December. Directly upon our return in January, we were hit with a very frightening financial crisis. I had been loosely looking for a steady job since before the wedding, but my search was now becoming more serious. I have a husband to help support. I want to diet and lose weight. I have interviews. I have to clean the house. I have to be supportive to my husband. I have to be a wife.
As you can imagine, the stress piled up on me to the point where it actually started manifesting physically. I was scared out of my wits because I had no understanding of what was going on. My symptoms were very similar to those of a heart attack. Not the horrible chest pain and numbness of the arm, but the chest tightness, heartburn...all of the like. So finally I went to the doctor.
I knew it wasn't a heart attack. I knew that it was anxiety and stress causing the pain. Still, better to be safe than sorry. Everything checked out perfect, as it usually does when I go to the doctor. So still no answer, but only a theory.
Today I had a follow up. This time the doctor focused more on my digestive tract. He believes I am somewhere between GERD and Gastritis. This isn't great, but it isn't that good either. The doctor thinks I likely had it developing and it was enhanced and heightened by the super stress.
It is nice to have something to say it is. At least I can reassure myself this way. To be safe, they drew blood and will run some tests, but he is confident it is as he said.
So what does that have to do with direction?
All my life I wanted to be an archaeologist. I've known that since I was a child. At the age of 6 I could say Australopithecus and explain to you how evolution went from Austrolopithecenes to Homo Habilis.
Suddenly I am taking a desk job. This is a large chapter in my life. Priorities have changed. I have changed. My direction has not.
31 January, 2013
O Great and Most Sacred Pascha
If anyone hasn't noticed, my titles usually have nothing to do with the context...at least not always. this one is the song I have on repeat right now "O Great and Most Sacred Pascha" (Pascha=Passover, I think) and it is preformed by Cappella Romana & Alexander Lingas on the album Music of Byzantium.
At any rate, I am here to clear my head and muse for a bit as I cannot seem to focus.
My muse is stirring great ideas in my mind for Book of Seas and as of the moment she is currently poking me saying "You should write...you should write...hey! You should write!" I would love to do this but soil profiles are attempting to demand my time.
Often, I am one to daydream and entertain such wild fancies that they can never be true. O how sweet and torturous this can be! I lament that such things can never come to pass.
Okay, now I am annoyed...my muse is coming out right here! Save that lovely wording for Book of Seas!
On another note, I have been exchanging critiques with a good friend of mine. We have given each other the first chapter of our works and are proceeding to tear them apart. I feel so horrible when I do this because I know I sound arrogant and snarky: the Rodney McKay of editing! So what to do? I was once told, and rightly so, that whenever someone edits your work the first goal of an editor is to get you to write like them. How true this is!
We were discussing things we disagreed with in each others comments and I could not help but think of this. All that she has learned has taught her that it is okay to have "he said/she said" all of the time and she told me the basis for this notion. A very logical basis it was. I, on the other hand, have been taught to replace the "he said/she said" with actions or the like as it brings both an image to mind and can illustrate the intended emotion of some dialogue. Her reasoning is that it can also disconnect the reader from the story. At length, we determined that a nice happy medium was needed to achieve "perfection."
What about all of you writers out there? Any thoughts on such things? Feel free to throw out advice on the aforementioned issue as well as other things you have learned about writing. Ages past proved much harder to write as resources and printing was limited. Often your first copy was your final draft. Nowadays, it has become an art of it's own nature. One method does not work for all, both reader and author. Now we have so many tools at our disposal with which to create many drafts and versions. Does our original work get lost in translation somewhere?
Take St. Augustine's the City of God. I do so love this work and find it utterly fascinating. However, I also find that he repeats the same point various ways as he writes. Sometimes I wish he'd had an editor at his disposal, or at least a version of Microsoft Word! Still, the work itself is beautiful and makes a point very well. Do we let our editing and drafting rule us? What do you think?
Okay, now I really have to get back to work! My brain feels better now though!
At any rate, I am here to clear my head and muse for a bit as I cannot seem to focus.
My muse is stirring great ideas in my mind for Book of Seas and as of the moment she is currently poking me saying "You should write...you should write...hey! You should write!" I would love to do this but soil profiles are attempting to demand my time.
Often, I am one to daydream and entertain such wild fancies that they can never be true. O how sweet and torturous this can be! I lament that such things can never come to pass.
Okay, now I am annoyed...my muse is coming out right here! Save that lovely wording for Book of Seas!
On another note, I have been exchanging critiques with a good friend of mine. We have given each other the first chapter of our works and are proceeding to tear them apart. I feel so horrible when I do this because I know I sound arrogant and snarky: the Rodney McKay of editing! So what to do? I was once told, and rightly so, that whenever someone edits your work the first goal of an editor is to get you to write like them. How true this is!
We were discussing things we disagreed with in each others comments and I could not help but think of this. All that she has learned has taught her that it is okay to have "he said/she said" all of the time and she told me the basis for this notion. A very logical basis it was. I, on the other hand, have been taught to replace the "he said/she said" with actions or the like as it brings both an image to mind and can illustrate the intended emotion of some dialogue. Her reasoning is that it can also disconnect the reader from the story. At length, we determined that a nice happy medium was needed to achieve "perfection."
What about all of you writers out there? Any thoughts on such things? Feel free to throw out advice on the aforementioned issue as well as other things you have learned about writing. Ages past proved much harder to write as resources and printing was limited. Often your first copy was your final draft. Nowadays, it has become an art of it's own nature. One method does not work for all, both reader and author. Now we have so many tools at our disposal with which to create many drafts and versions. Does our original work get lost in translation somewhere?
Take St. Augustine's the City of God. I do so love this work and find it utterly fascinating. However, I also find that he repeats the same point various ways as he writes. Sometimes I wish he'd had an editor at his disposal, or at least a version of Microsoft Word! Still, the work itself is beautiful and makes a point very well. Do we let our editing and drafting rule us? What do you think?
Okay, now I really have to get back to work! My brain feels better now though!
24 January, 2013
Jennifer Love-Hewitt's Hair.
I have finally figured out how to get my hair similar to how her hair is in Ghost Whisperer. YAY! Granted, it takes lots of planning and doing, but SOOOOO worth it!
Anyway, that out of my system,'
Why is it that we trust spell and grammar check? It's about as intuitive as a piece of wood. Really. One is simply unable to write beautifully constructed sentences or create fantasy worlds and people without those rotten red squigglies everywhere! AAAAAAGH!!!
I am a writer! I am an artist whose mediums is word! The words I place on a page paint an image of something so surreal and beautiful it cannot be grasped by mortal man, yet they will strive to obtain the beauty within my pages.
I am so full of crap.
I'm laughing to myself now. That was funny. At any rate, I should actually be writing. I just thought I would update the images on my blog and complain about spell check a little.
Peace Out!
Anyway, that out of my system,'
Why is it that we trust spell and grammar check? It's about as intuitive as a piece of wood. Really. One is simply unable to write beautifully constructed sentences or create fantasy worlds and people without those rotten red squigglies everywhere! AAAAAAGH!!!
I am a writer! I am an artist whose mediums is word! The words I place on a page paint an image of something so surreal and beautiful it cannot be grasped by mortal man, yet they will strive to obtain the beauty within my pages.
I am so full of crap.
I'm laughing to myself now. That was funny. At any rate, I should actually be writing. I just thought I would update the images on my blog and complain about spell check a little.
Peace Out!
31 December, 2012
Leave me alone advertisements!
Just yelling at the "do this or thats" of Google and many other internet things. You know how they always pop up and say "You can do this with that!" and such? Annoying.
Anyway, I want to write something today, because I haven't in a very long time. Maybe that is because I was planning a very successful wedding! Woot! I am now a MARRIED woman! My husband is amazing. He is phenomenal! I am so lucky to be married to this wonderful man!
I haven't written anything else in a while either. But now with the planning done, I intend to pick it up once more. Though typing with the fake nails I got for the wedding is proving very difficult!
So anyway, a few thoughts on weddings. First, go ahead and pay attention to every little detail.....IF you can remember that they don't matter as much as the fact that you are getting married. What, you may ask? I mean that if you want every little detail perfect, go ahead and plan every little detail. Just remember that if it doesn't turn out exactly as you wanted, it may be better!
I had a few things go wrong. I could have flipped out but didn't. Save your "bridezilla" moments for the important things. Like when the hotel has put all the groomsmen next to your room and they're up at 1am going in and out of their room, making noise and talking with a loud TV. Feel free to send a nasty text message to your Best Man at this point who, as such a good friend, will understand and get them to STFU!
OR, his phone will have died and they will have magically shut up anyway. He will then, in great humor, read the text message once his phone has recharged and proceed to laugh his rear end off.
Make sure that everyone knows there are certain things that should and should NOT be told to the bride. On the list of things to tell her, CHANGES in anything. Do not surprise her with changes. Would you rather have a bridezilla rant on you or in public?
Avoid telling her any negative comments until after the wedding. Usually it is a good idea to keep most of these to yourself anyway. I didn't really have any negative comments, but a couple of things were said and told to me at the wrong time. It is a very emotional time for a bride. You never know what is going to bother or not.
As the bride, BE MELLOW! Let things go and trust everyone to do what they are going to do! Nothing ever turns out like it does in your head! It turns out BETTER! I trusted my guys to get their tuxs, they did. The same for my girls and their dresses. I trusted the vendors to do their jobs, and they did, so much better than what I imagined!
At any rate, the important thing is now...I am a wife. I am wife to the most loving, caring, and sweet husband anyone could ask for.
The End
Anyway, I want to write something today, because I haven't in a very long time. Maybe that is because I was planning a very successful wedding! Woot! I am now a MARRIED woman! My husband is amazing. He is phenomenal! I am so lucky to be married to this wonderful man!
I haven't written anything else in a while either. But now with the planning done, I intend to pick it up once more. Though typing with the fake nails I got for the wedding is proving very difficult!
So anyway, a few thoughts on weddings. First, go ahead and pay attention to every little detail.....IF you can remember that they don't matter as much as the fact that you are getting married. What, you may ask? I mean that if you want every little detail perfect, go ahead and plan every little detail. Just remember that if it doesn't turn out exactly as you wanted, it may be better!
I had a few things go wrong. I could have flipped out but didn't. Save your "bridezilla" moments for the important things. Like when the hotel has put all the groomsmen next to your room and they're up at 1am going in and out of their room, making noise and talking with a loud TV. Feel free to send a nasty text message to your Best Man at this point who, as such a good friend, will understand and get them to STFU!
OR, his phone will have died and they will have magically shut up anyway. He will then, in great humor, read the text message once his phone has recharged and proceed to laugh his rear end off.
Make sure that everyone knows there are certain things that should and should NOT be told to the bride. On the list of things to tell her, CHANGES in anything. Do not surprise her with changes. Would you rather have a bridezilla rant on you or in public?
Avoid telling her any negative comments until after the wedding. Usually it is a good idea to keep most of these to yourself anyway. I didn't really have any negative comments, but a couple of things were said and told to me at the wrong time. It is a very emotional time for a bride. You never know what is going to bother or not.
As the bride, BE MELLOW! Let things go and trust everyone to do what they are going to do! Nothing ever turns out like it does in your head! It turns out BETTER! I trusted my guys to get their tuxs, they did. The same for my girls and their dresses. I trusted the vendors to do their jobs, and they did, so much better than what I imagined!
At any rate, the important thing is now...I am a wife. I am wife to the most loving, caring, and sweet husband anyone could ask for.
The End
27 November, 2012
The Nameless City
So I had a dream, the likes of which I have before, where my boss, myself, and a few of my Archaeological colleagues discovered something cool. This time we were in muddy mountains and discovered a secret city. Pretty cool huh? My boss thought so too. His response was "Cool! Write a story about it so I can read it."
Crap.
Double crap.
Triple crap.
A large portion of pig dookie with a side of horse crap.
Do you realize what this means? It means that while I am supposed to be working on Book of Seas and touching up Stolen Child, I am now pounding away something new. Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying the large amounts of what I deem AWESOMENESS that is being produced from this. However, I have other things I need to do...such as finish writing those blasted thank yous for my shower.
Oh well. You know what? I WANT to write. I want to produce something incredibly awesome. I hope that this turns into something really cool and that maybe I can submit it. We will see.
I know I have spoken about how music inspires me and how I constantly find new music to write to but this time it is killing me! The music I have been using to inspire this mostly comes from Lisa Gerrard's album The Mirror Pool. It also reminds me of H.P. Lovecraft. So a lot of my influences for this story are coming from Lovecraft's short stories...particularly the Nameless City. The mystery surrounding his works is exactly the sort of environment I wish to create with this new story.
I have absolutely no clue where this story will lead and who will live and who will die. Considering that these people are my co-workers I am a little concerned what I do with the characters that are slightly reflecting them. On one hand, I just can't see a character living or remaining so with their sanity intact with this kind of theme. On the other hand, I don't want them to kill me.
Choices choices. Lets be honest here? How many of our characters draw upon elements of those around us? We certainly put ourselves into our own stories...what about others?
Crap.
Double crap.
Triple crap.
A large portion of pig dookie with a side of horse crap.
Do you realize what this means? It means that while I am supposed to be working on Book of Seas and touching up Stolen Child, I am now pounding away something new. Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying the large amounts of what I deem AWESOMENESS that is being produced from this. However, I have other things I need to do...such as finish writing those blasted thank yous for my shower.
Oh well. You know what? I WANT to write. I want to produce something incredibly awesome. I hope that this turns into something really cool and that maybe I can submit it. We will see.
I know I have spoken about how music inspires me and how I constantly find new music to write to but this time it is killing me! The music I have been using to inspire this mostly comes from Lisa Gerrard's album The Mirror Pool. It also reminds me of H.P. Lovecraft. So a lot of my influences for this story are coming from Lovecraft's short stories...particularly the Nameless City. The mystery surrounding his works is exactly the sort of environment I wish to create with this new story.
I have absolutely no clue where this story will lead and who will live and who will die. Considering that these people are my co-workers I am a little concerned what I do with the characters that are slightly reflecting them. On one hand, I just can't see a character living or remaining so with their sanity intact with this kind of theme. On the other hand, I don't want them to kill me.
Choices choices. Lets be honest here? How many of our characters draw upon elements of those around us? We certainly put ourselves into our own stories...what about others?
14 October, 2012
I am going to electrocute myself....
.....if I keep on chewing on the headset cord for my iPod. Not to mention, I'll end up without ear buds!
At any rate, I am in serious trouble! Oh my am I in trouble! I have fallen and fallen hard. Would you like to know the reason why? Well here he is...
Yap. That is right. Commander Nathaniel Taylor. I feel like I am in High School again based on how hard I fell for this guy! I mean, he's so bad ass! Not to mention he is an incredible babe!!! Lord please make my body thinner and stronger then sweep me away to live in his universe because I don't know how I can go on! (And while, you're at it, please give me Jennifer Love-Hewitt's hair from the first season of Ghost Whisperer.) I'm going to die now...of heartbreak. Actually, I think if I go and write some horrible Mary Sue Fanfiction, my life will be a little better.
To all my fellow dreamers, how often do you fall for a fictional character? How many are in your "harem?" Who are amongst the top? Here's a really important one...HOW OFTEN IS IT A CHARACTER OF YOUR OWN CREATION?
Let's be honest, there is a Mary Sue hidden in all of us. So long as she's not the rabbit sitting in our heads and working the controls, we're okay. (Father Ted reference.)
I suppose that is it for now. I just had to share this with the world.
I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH COMMANDER NATHANIEL TAYLOR!!!
At any rate, I am in serious trouble! Oh my am I in trouble! I have fallen and fallen hard. Would you like to know the reason why? Well here he is...
 |
| Commander Nathaniel Taylor, Terra Nova |
To all my fellow dreamers, how often do you fall for a fictional character? How many are in your "harem?" Who are amongst the top? Here's a really important one...HOW OFTEN IS IT A CHARACTER OF YOUR OWN CREATION?
Let's be honest, there is a Mary Sue hidden in all of us. So long as she's not the rabbit sitting in our heads and working the controls, we're okay. (Father Ted reference.)
I suppose that is it for now. I just had to share this with the world.
I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH COMMANDER NATHANIEL TAYLOR!!!
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